If you can't see the words in the picture clearly..here's what it says:
"Everytime there is a storm, I know it will pass"Valentines is just a few days away..and I understand that for some of you, it is the day where you go, "
argh, another Valentines. I hate Valentines".
Maybe there were bad memories involved, maybe you'd have the thinking "why does everyone else look so happy with their partner except me?".
On the outside you'd put on a stone-cold face and tell everyone that you hate that day. But, deep down, you're longing for someone to be there for you, to tell you they love you.. sincerely and to be your friend.
I admit that at times I did complain about relationships, about how I dislike being in one and how I didn't want to love anyone anymore. It's a lie though.
Such harsh words came out just because I was hurt before.
The thing is, I realised that I can't let myself be hurt forever. I can't keep remembering things and start hurting myself all over again.
It's like taking a knife and stabbing myself, and when it's starting to heal, I'd take a knife and stab the wound again. Get it?
So I thought, "okay, that is just stupid"
I cannot cry over something that's already happened. I cannot wish that it never happened and I cannot change the fact that it did happen.
What else could I do?
I Moved on.
Some people might say : "Regina you say that as if it is so easy"
No, I
never said that it's easy.
In fact, it is a very very difficult thing to do.
Holding back the tears and putting on a smile when I was broken inside was challenging because at times when you're hurt so bad, tears just start falling and you won't even know why.
At that point in time, I remember that I couldn't eat because everytime I took a bite of food, I'd feel like vomiting.
I couldn't drive because I'd lose concentration.
I couldn't study because the hurt was all I thought about.
My life seemed blurry and every night I'd cry myself to sleep, asking "
why do I deserve this?"
On the outside, people may assume that my life is fine, I'm happy, everyone's happy. But no one truly knew what has been going on because I'd keep everything to myself, and show people what they want to see.
I smiled, I laughed as usual, but I knew that I was dying inside.
I said to myself that I would hate my ex
forever because he cheated on me and treated my like trash.
But one day...while I was packing my drawers, I saw a picture of myself:
Geeky...nerdy......crooked-teeth...11 year old, Ong See Mun.
I looked at the picture and smiled to myself..
"How could I be that girl in the picture?" I wondered.
She looked so comfortable with herself even though she looks like THAT? Look at that hair, look at that face. How could she even smile with that teeth?
And then I remembered something...she was happy being where she is.
She didn't know much, but she always had the thought that there's always a better tomorrow.
Basically, I was a
happy-go-lucky person.
But..somehow..along the journey I stumbled.
It was then it finally hit me.
I can't keep beating myself over heartbreaks and I can't hate someone forever.
No matter how bad or how cruel someone treated me, I just can't bring myself to hate the person for such a long time.
So, I chose to forgave..and let go of the past..
You see, there is no such thing as a person who would never experience hurt. There are only people who experience it in different ways.
You cannot compare and say "I've hurt more than you did", because you'd never know how much pain the other person has felt.
Don't be too quick to judge someone else.
No one should ever hate love because of some broken relationships. It isn't worth it..because a person who truly loves you wouldn't make you cry all the time.
Okay, Here's a confession I have to make : I've never experienced a good valentines day in my life. All my valentines would turn into a disaster one way or another. It's like I'm jinxed or something.
BUT, I would never hate Valentines.
There's this flicker of hope in me that will not die so easily. I will not allow it.
Someday I would celebrate the best Valentines day of all..and on that day, I would tell the person I'm with "you made my dream come true". From all the past horrible experiences, I know that I will cherish every moment I have when the right person comes along my way.
'till then, I'd always have friends who are there for me, and a family that has been with me through thick and thin. ;)
If you are finding for some reason to celebrate about..here's one very important reason:
- Celebrate the fact that you are alive every morning. There are many who wish to be live but they just didn't have the time.
Life is so fragile..Therefore, live everyday to the fullest, treat your friends and family well..so that you wouldn't have to live with regret. Don't give yourself a chance to think "If only...."
Smile! be happy!! and know that no matter what happens there's always a brighter day ahead of you.
=)
