[Happy Valentines Day....
..my Darling]
This is the first time we are going to celebrate Valentines together..and although you are not physically here at the moment on the day itself..I just wanted to post about the progress of our happy relationship and the joy you brought to me the moment you came into my life. Yes, even as a friend. =)
When I stepped into the class in January 2009 for my final year of degree..I never knew what to expect from the class. All I knew was the fact that I'm in a new class where I practically know no one...
Would I be lonely?
Would I be a cast off because everyone already had their cliques within the class?
I was prepared. Prepared to be on my own.
From the previous failed relationships and failed dates I had from the past year (2008) I really didn't want to get involved with anyone and planned to go on the path of a single and independent person instead.
I figured that I didn't want or need a bf because guys lie, cheat and most of the time, they're just full of bulls*hit.
So yeah, I began 2009 with a smile on my face, with the past behind me. I opened my eyes to the wide road ahead of me and was prepared as well as acceptive of all the challenges and obstacles life was in store for me. I had an aim for that year.. and it was to achieve a 1st class(Hons) for my degree.
In the class, I made a new circle of friends. I found that I was in a good class for my final year in Uni. Some of the people were competitive (in a good way), but boy, everyone sure knew how to have fun. The first time we all went out as a group was on April 16 '09. It was the last paper for our finals and we wanted to celebrate. So, Genting was the easiest plan to achieve.
This was our very first picture together.. I was so clueless then. At the time while I was still in the "hating guys" stage, I never knew, my future was standing right beside me. =)
Our group of friends were awesome people. We often had plans over the weekends and we always went places together. One of them was a swimming + movie session at Jaynee's place. We had so much fun that night...and I remember you and your taiwan sausage. haha. =)
Yep, that was us in the pool! I didn't remember standing next to you..but yeah, it so happened that we were..hehe.
A few days after that swimming session, we actually went to Malacca with Yen and Sean. It was "almost" like a double date apart from the fact that I was always trying to keep a distance from you..."just in case" you know? :p
I sat next to you in the car that day..and you were sleeping all the way to Malacca. Me and Yen almost left you in the car while we went off to eat! hahaha. You were also my personal photographer of the day..
It was the night while we were coming back from Malacca to Subang where you kind of saw who I really was. Instead of the usual quieter (or some people may say that I look snobbish) self, I was being random and stupid. I remember you saying, "on the outside you look like some cover of a cleo magazine, but on the inside you are so different". I remembered that so clearly, I don't even know why. =)
Oh! And I remembered your horrible experience with the baba nonya uncle at a shop along Jonker Strip. You were molested! hahahaa.
And can you believe it? After a week, we had yet ANOTHER swimming session.
This time, we had a closer and nicer picture. I haven't liked you yet though! :p
Our "cuti-cuti Malaysia" trip was awesome. We continued by having a trip to Bukit Tinggi.
Somehow, we always traveled in the same car. Did you plan that on purpose dear? haha. jk. :p
The best of all was probably our Graduation Trip when we went to Redang Island.
My heart was still shut tightly closed and I still viewed you as a normal friend..a friend whom I could never be together with because you were a "friend" material to me.
You were on the very far left while I was on the far right of the picture. Ironic much? =)
Again, you were THE photographer. haha. The left was a picture you took for me, while on the right was a picture I took for you. And that was my silver bag you so willingly helped to carry. hehe.
This was so unintentional..it was a hot day at the beach and Yen wanted to go to "Mo Mo Cha" so we had to walk there..I brought my umbrella but you were trying to "offer your help" by holding the umbrella for me..but the fact was..you wanted the shade too! I knew it!!! haha. We were both pushing each other in a joking way to get more shade from the umbrella. But did you notice something from the picture dear? We were already in a shaded area. I didn't notice that 'till I saw this picture again. Somehow we were always drawn together isn't it? =)
We were both just staring out at the sea at this point...and I didn't know Yen snapped a picture of us. =)
Coincidentally you also wore a huge red shirt to sleep. I remember us "arguing" about "who wore the red shirt first". hahaha.
Then there was the night were a few of us decided to lie on the beach and chill while "singing MJ songs" to pay our tribute..haha.
After Redang, we mainly hung around Subang...watching movies at RJ's house..playing Wii..going for "yumcha's"..
I started falling for you when you showed me that you could care for me.
When I was coughing, you kept reminding me to take the cough syrup..and there was this one night where you really made me smile.
That night, you sent me home..and straight after that, you sent me a text.
"Remember to drink more water and take your cough medicine" you said.
And I said " yesss.. I will.."
"Take picture and MMS to me to prove it! " you replied.
Not only that..while we were out..the moment I coughed, you had the automatic reflex of reaching out to the cup of warm water and putting it in my hands for me to drink.
I was smiling to myself then. I never thought that this guy would be able to care like that. Yes, it was just one sms, and..giving me water.. it was such a simple thing. But I could feel the genuine care from you and that was when I started to develop feelings for you. =)
During that course of a month or so, I kept asking myself "Am I really falling for Chan Heng or is it just a passing phase?" I was so unsure...
What made me notice that I was really falling for you was on KWL's birthday..where I got mad at you for some reason. We didn't talk for the entire night and you looked so down. I realised that I hated seeing you unhappy..and when you were unhappy, I was too. You may not have noticed..but my feelings for you grew from that day on.
On my birthday, you wrote on the plate..with the leftover chocolate from my piece of the birthday cake, "I love you". But I was so busy talking to the rest of the people, I didn't notice until the very last minute when the waiter came and took it away. I pretended not to have noticed but I was so happy on the inside (you know how egoistic I can be sometimes..)...you were circling your fingers gently around my hand...and I felt flutters of butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't stop thinking about you that night. =)
During my birthday celebration..you presented me an Elle watch..I loved it alot.
This picture immortalized the moment where I hugged you and thanked you for the best gift I've ever received...you. =)
Our relationship progressed so quickly after that..
I've always felt that I've known you for the longest time..and because of that, I've always been comfortable with you. There was no need for pretence.
This is a picture of us at the Grand Millenium during Boon's birthday celebration. You were pretending to ignore me. =(
On Halloween, we went to Malacca again..this time it was with your group of friends.
To sum it up..it was the first time I celebrated Halloween and it was the most amazing experience I've ever had dear. =)
I was looking forward to our graduation together because..hey, not many people get to graduate with their bf! It would be such a special experience we could share together.
After 4 years of studying in Foundation and Degree..we were finally graduates. I managed to achieve the 1st class I was aiming for and got an even better addition to it. I didn't expect to find love that year..but I guess it found me. =)
This is a picture we took before we went up to Little Genting on the night of our convocation.
We also celebrated some of the other major celebrations together last year..which was Christmas and New Year.
This was taken at the park we went after the Christmas dinner with my family. I added a sparkle to your hands because it signifies your magic touch. Everytime you hugged me or held my hands, I would feel so protected and at peace..and I'd feel so sure that no matter what comes my way..I know that you are my castle walls who will keep me safe and warm. =)
Remember Tambun? It was so fun strolling with you and playing the water slides as though we were kids. =)
During New Year, you had so many chicken wings you didn't want to eat chicken wings for a few weeks after that. haha! We spent the night together with the rest of my family in my house..playing mahjong. It was a relaxing way of ushering the new year. =)
This is one of the latest picture of us at my sister's birthday celebration! Your head looks so big here..but I find it cute..just like an egg..while my head is hidden so far behind. What a contrast. :p
This marks the end of the row of pictures..and although there were others I may have not blogged about..it doesn't mean that I've forgotten ok? =)
The reason I decided to blog about our story this way was because I wanted to tell our story..as real as it could possibly be. From the days we hadn't had a clue about what would happen in the future, to where we stand together today.
I remember the words you said the night I cried to you and told you about my heartaches. You said, "Forget about it...because it's just me and you against the world". It made me laugh because I clearly knew it was a line you picked the movie we saw just the day before.
After I laughed at your little joke, I looked at you again, and asked.. "really?"
You looked into my eyes and said, "Yes really." You assured me that... Even if there is a day where everyone out there is against me, you would be there beside me.
Darling, I want you to know that..
if there is a time you feel that no one cares, I would still care for you.
if there is a time you think that you've failed, I would still cheer you on.
if there is a time where you feel lonely, I would be right next to you.
if there is a time you need faith and someone to rely on, I will be the one you can count on,
if there is a time where you need assurance, I would still believe in you.
And most of all...
if ever there is a time you feel unloved, please know that I still love you.
"It's us against the world"
..I dedicate this song to you dear. =)
Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world
Against the world
You and I, we’ve been at it so long
I still got the strongest fire
You and I, we still know how to talk
Know how to walk that wire
Sometimes I feel like The world is against me
The sound of your voice, baby
That's what saves me
When we're together I feel so invincible
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight
Us against the world
Against the world
There’ll be days
We’ll be on different sides but
That doesn’t last too long
We find ways to get it on track
And know how to turn back on
Sometimes I feel
I can’t keep it together
Then you hold me close
And you make it better
When I’m with you
I can feel so unbreakable
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight
We’re not gonna break
Cause we both still believe
We know what we’ve got
And we’ve got what we need alright
We’re doing something right...
Cause it's us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Cause it's us against the world tonight
Us against the world
You and me against them all
If you listen to these words
Know that we are standing tall
I don't ever see the day that
I won't catch you when you fall
Us against the world
Yeah it’s Us against the world, baby
Us against the world
Tonight
Us against the world
Against the world
Us against the world ...
I love you darling,
Now and Always...
=)
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